Technology and Kids: Parenting in our Digital World

We live in a world dominated by computers and internet, so it is important for us as parents to determine how we will parent our children in this arena of life. Computers and the internet provide great learning opportunities! Lead your children into this world, sit with them and go through and bookmark sites you want your child to use (remember to check www.commonsensemedia.org). Set up a child-friendly search engines like Yahoo!Kids or KidZui.

 

INTERNET: As wonderful as the computer and internet is, there are also concerns. To combat the darker side of the internet, keep the computer in a public space, not in your child’s bedroom. By keeping the computer in public space we significantly lessen inappropriate internet use from happening. Consider strongly installing a time-limiting software and monitoring software (such as Safe Eyes; CyberSitter; CyberPatrol); UNDERSTAND your supervision is still needed. It won’t be long before your child will be able to get around the controls you place on the computer. You also need to be teaching your children how to responsibly use the internet. I’ll address this more in my next blog.

 

SOCIAL NETWORKING: What do you feel about social networking sites? As a parent, if you don’t want your child using them at this age then don’t allow it. You may not realize that there are social networking sites specifically designed for children of this age such as Club Penguin and Webkinz. Does this frighten you? Remember that you need to parent online just as you do offline. You know the house and family your child goes to for play, so make sure you know where your child goes when online. Get information about these sites. Each site has a parents section that will explain the site and answer your questions. Don’t give into fear of “the internet,” learn about it; enter into your child’s digital world.

 

Club Penguin has no advertisements; on Webkinz you can limit 3^rd party ads, but advertisements for Webkinz and Ganz products are always on. These sites limit the choice of words the user is allowed. Talk to other parents and see what their kids are using. Go on the website and read the parent information before allowing your child to sign up for one of these sites.

 

TV, computer, social networking and video games all count as screen time. Find a reasonable limit of screen time each day. Play is how children learn, through play they learn to build structures and relationships. Active play builds coordination and strength. And as children play with others learn cooperative skills through play. Active playtime should be a priority during these years, so limit screen time giving them plenty of time for active play.

 

 

Technology and Kids: Parenting in our Digital World

Recently I have been blogging on technology and kids. Previously I have addressed children up to the start of school. Today we focus on children in early elementary years. 

 

A quick overview of the issues for children of all ages goes like this:

• Know what your child is doing on line
• Set appropriate limit for total amount of screen time per day.
• Select age appropriate TV shows, movies, computer programs, video games, internet sites….
• Make sure there is time for play, social interaction and reading each day.

 

The specific concerns for children in early elementary school regarding TV are violence, news and commercials.  Now is the time to start using your V-Chip (go to http://tvguidelines.org/  for more information). It is easy to limit what children can view on your TV; equally important is to talk with your child about what they are watching. Help them understand what is real and what is not real on TV. Help them understand the purposes of commercials. You can record favorite shows and fast forward through the commercials to avoid them all together.

 

 Many children this age find the news to be frightening. If you believe watching the news is appropriate for your child sit and watch with them, talk about how they respond to what they see on TV News.

 

Make sure the video games your child has access to are age appropriate. Violent video games and watching violence on TV can increase aggressiveness and negatively affect school performance.

 

Next time I’ll talk about computers and the internet for early elementary age children.

 

 

Preschoolers and Digital Media

Here’s a question to start: How much time is your preschooler spending in front of a screen each day?

 

The American Pediatric Association’s recommends no screens for two and younger and two hours for children over two years of age. The APA also says less than 2-hours is preferable for 2-4 year olds.

 

Regarding television the concern is the amount of time being watched as well as the content of what is viewed. Age appropriate educational programs are best for preschoolers. Children learn best through interaction, so TV programs that slow things down and have the “actor” stop, face the audience and address them are excellent for this age. (Think Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood). If your interest is helping your child learn then watching and interacting with your child during the TV show is best.

 

Most children are not able to manipulate a mouse until age 5 or 6. Even if your child is able to, they should not be on the internet without you. You can sit with your child and have them list things that interest them (animals, sports, trains, etc.). Then you can do a search with them and look at the results. Another fun way to use the internet with young children is to Skype a relative or friend. There are games you can get such as Computer Cool School with a colorful keyboard that plugs into your computer so preschoolers can "play" on the computer with no risk to your system.

 

Educational games and apps for preschool age children are abundant. Children can learn from appropriate digital media, but keep in mind that children of this age learn best with off-line interaction and exploring their environment.

 

Lastly, be aware of what your child is giving up to use the “screens.” For the healthiest children make sure there is be plenty of time for outdoor play, social interaction and exploration of their environment.

 

To find age appropriate media I recommend www.commonsensemedia.org. Common Sense Media reviews movies, computer games, apps, websites, TV shows, books, and music. You can select from a range of genre and themes, as well as a specific age groups from 3-17 years.

 

Technology and Kids: Parenting in our Digital World

Let’s start with the youngest children: birth to 2 years

The American Pediatric Association recommends no “screens” for children under the age of two. Yet 49% of children aged 12-23 months are watching TV^*. Therefore almost 50% of children ages 1-2 are watching TV. You are not a terrible parent if your child is one of them. Yet it is important to LIMIT the amount of time your child spends in front of a screen. Before age two your child will not benefit from watching “screens.” Their job is to explore their world and interact with people. They want to touch, taste, smell, see, and hear their world. Screens are not a substitute for human interaction.

 

It is also important WHAT your child is watching. If they are watching TV it should be educational programs designed for their age group. Much research shows that boys who watch violent programming are more likely to develop attention problems.

 

Three keys:

·         Keep the TV out of their bedrooms!

·         Know what your child is watching.

·         Keep the TV off when nobody is watching it.

 

Instead of putting your baby in front of a screen to occupy her time try to have toys, pots & pans or age appropriate crafts available to keep them entertained when you need a few minutes to get something done.

 

Next time we’ll look at what’s appropriate for your Preschoolers.

___

*Unplug your Kids by David Dutwin

 

 

Technology and Kids: Parenting in our Digital World

 

Today I’m going to start a series of blogs about how to parent our children in the digital age. Most of us are “digital immigrants” (born before 1990) and we are raising “digital natives.” As any immigrant population the new culture and language seems foreign to us, yet the digital world is our children’s “home.” It’s important that we learn the new language and culture so we can appropriately parent our children.

 

Computers, I-Pads, The Internet, Social Media -Facebook, Twitter, Computer Games, Hand Held Computer Games, Cell Phones, Smart Phones, IMing, Movies on Demand, Hundreds of TV channels… our society is bombarded with digital messages! What’s a parent to do?

 

When your child enters Kindergarten you don’t send them out the door on their own with directions how to walk to school. You walk with them, teach them how to cross the street, and make sure they get to school. When they’re a few years older you may allow them to walk with friends, and when even older they can walk on their own. When they turn 16 you don’t give them the keys to the car and send them out without any training or instructions. We know how to parent “off line,” yet sometimes we can be intimidated or fearful of parenting “on-line.” We need to parent “on-line” just as we parent “off-line.”

 

My Philosophy is simple:

• There is much that is good about using digital media, computers and the internet.
• There are some things to be concerned about too.
• There are many things you can do to protect your child from the dangers that do exist.
• We need to parent “on line” just as we do “off line.”

 

In the next couple of blogs I’ll break down the age groups and take a look at what is appropriate for each age group and maturity level.

 

Here’s a quick and simple overview:

• Know what your child is doing online
• Set an appropriate limit for total amount of screen time per day.
• Select age appropriate TV shows, movies, computer programs, video games, internet sites….
• Make sure there is time for physical play, social interaction and reading each day.

 

 

Self Care

 

Parenting is a tough job! It requires long hours, lots of emotional and physical energy, much wisdom and at times it seems like there are few rewards. Add to that the huge impact your parenting has on your child and it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Just as the steward on the airplane instructs you to put your oxygen mask on BEFORE putting on your child’s - I am suggesting that you take care of yourself so you are best able to care for your child!

Parenting is a physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally demanding task. You need to be in good shape! Take care of yourself!

• Physically:
• Eat healthily (don’t skip meals, eat a well balanced breakfast and lunch with lots of protein to give you energy for the day).
• Exercise- depending on the age of your child, you may need to get creative here, find a Y or gym with child care; get outside and actively play with your child, take walks with them or do a home exercise DVD. Exercise will increase your energy and improve your mood.
• Get a good night sleep- I know this can seem impossible, especially with newborns. Do the best you can, forget about those extra tasks and go to bed early. It is okay to take a nap when your child naps.
• Emotionally:
• See above; if you are eating right, exercising and sleeping you will be healthier emotionally.
• Do things you enjoy- make a list of your favorite things (i.e. reading, music, bubble baths, sports, hobbies, sleeping…) now try to spend a little time each day doing something you enjoy.
• Relationally:
• Keep connected with people you enjoy. Make time to connect with those who encourage you and bring you joy- in person if possible, but there’s always email, Facebook and phone. When our children were young I found being with friends who also had young children to be a lifeline. The kids enjoyed being together and I had adult conversation!
• Spiritually:
• Read (for me, it’s the Bible)
• Meditate & Pray
• Get together with others of your faith

 

These areas overlap with each other, it is really impossible to separate them completely. This is just one way of looking at your life and making sure you are caring for all areas of your life. Put your oxygen mask on first- make sure you are strong and healthy then you will be prepared to parent well!

 

Sleep Problems

 

One common concern I hear over and over again is parents having trouble getting their child to go to bed, stay in bed and fall asleep. For young children this can be a symptom of separation anxiety which is a common developmental stage. Sometimes sleep problems are a result of anxiety or poor sleep habits. Some children just don’t want to miss out on what is going on.

 

The best way to minimize common sleep problems is to have a consistent and enjoyable bedtime routine. This routine should start at the same time every day. The routine can consist of a light healthy snack, bath time, reading stories, listening to calming music or perhaps a back rub. This is a great time for physical touch and to talk to your child about their day and saying prayers. It’s calming if the routine is the same every night, and the child knows what to expect. If your child is still taking naps, it’s important to keep their nap time as regular as possible as well.

 

For all children and especially those who have trouble falling asleep I suggest no television or “screens” (computers, video games etc.) for an hour before bedtime. These activities stimulate the brain and make it harder to fall asleep.

 

What your child eats and drinks can affect their ability to fall asleep.  Avoid beverages with caffeine. Make sure your child has a balanced evening meal including some lean protein, avoid foods high in sugar

 

Getting lots of physical activity also helps a child sleep better, however you don’t want this to be in the 2-3 hours before bedtime.

 

Your child’s bedtime environment should be the same each night (cool, quiet and dark).

 

I know life is busy and can be unpredictable. However sleep is essential to your child’s health and growth. Children who get enough sleep function better and have fewer behavioral problems. Those benefits are worth some effort in changing your daily routine!